作业展示2012年考研英语一高文文(作业展示活动总结)--考研网上

02期作文批改展示来啦

本次展示内容为2012年英语一小作文

首要

先来check一下12年英语一的高文文真题叭

真题

there is ahalf-spilt（学长这边如同并没有查到这个词的存在哦，主张运用there is a bottle knocked over on the ground）bottle of wine on the ground; a young with frown cried:“it’s empty”, while another witness happily andwantwent（这儿留心拼写哦，大约是went）quckily to pick it up.（图中并没有说另一个把瓶子捡起来了，这儿不要片面臆想哦，只描绘图中的场景）the picture is aimed at revealing a phenomenon thathunmanhuman（留心拼写哦）nature differs. when faced withthe problem,（本句中的意思，大约是当他们遇到困难时，并没有特指哪个困难，所以这儿不需要用the，用a即可）they always keep two different attitudes: positive and negative.

there is no denying that life is often filled with all manner of accidents and challenges. the positive embrace anenthusiation（没有enthusiation这个词哦，这儿主张替换表达）for a world——grasp the nettle ,and have a great possibility to succeed. they candig the good respect from the bad这儿想表达的意思大约是从坏事中发掘出好的方面吧？方面这个词是aspect不是respect哦. bycontast（contrast留心拼写哦）,at the some situation（in some cases在某些情况下）,thenegetive（negative留心拼写）isimmeditatly

（留心拼写：immediately）embatted by the difficult problem(被困难所打败主张改为be defeated by difficulties)——unable to get up after a fall.therefore，theiropptunnitiesof winningthe success（这儿不需要特指哪个成功，直接用success不需要加the）would be tiny.（一起，这儿假定想表达，他们不太可以会赢得成功，主张直接运用they are less likely to succeed ）they cannot find the good from the bad.

setbacks are able to make progressand an inseparable accompaniment to life（这儿假定想表达【是每自个日子中不可以或缺的有些】，可以说is an indispensible part of everybody's life）.adimittedly（留心拼写哦，大约是admittedly）, from zero to hero” is just takenbad（这儿应当运用的是名词，如bad things）in life for an essential part of long life paths: don’t be afraid, don’t be disheartened. if can, we may be successful.

内容逻辑（7分）：4

言语表达（7分）：3

语法基础（6分）：3

内容逻辑(3分):4

言语表达(3分):3

语法基础(3分): 3

总分:10分

评语

评语：

（1）内容逻辑上疑问不大，可是因为拼写和语法的缘由可以会致使易读性降低

（2）言语表达上，有必定的亮点词如：grasp the nettle，可是词汇拼写疑问差错较多，这一点特别值得留心，要削减此类差错

（3）语法基础上，会有单个差错，可是在合理的规模内。

全体来说，同学下次作文首要是要削减拼写差错，其次就是关于漫画的内容不片面臆想，只描绘即可，写完文章之后可以自个读一下，然后自个觉得有疑问的当地略微做一下批改，让每句话愈加通畅，会非常好~加油

in theporytralportrayal（留心拼写）above are two old men looking at the bottle which was dropped on the ground, behaving completely different to it. the man on the left is putting his hands on hisbeforehandforehead(这儿想表达的大约是forehand脑门？),with his back switching,and hunched over(表达折腰驼背可以运用and hunched over,会更地道一些)looking so upset. in contrast, the man on the right is laughing happily, with his mouths grinning. we are informed that the man on the leftthinkingthinks（这儿从句里边假定还用thinking的话，从句里边就没有谓语动词了，所以这儿think应当是谓语动词方法，而不能做非谓语）that “ it was all over.”however, what leftin the right man’s mind（右边的男人不能说right man，仍是用the man on the right或许the man on the other side）was that he felt so lucky thatthere was still some waterwhich was in the bottlein the bottle（这儿用which was in the bottle显得赘余了哦，直接用in the bottle即可，从句的运用尽可以不是无端运用）.

（第一段留心时态共同，存在一会用曩昔时，一会用如今时的表象，需要进行批改，共同动词的方法，尽量坚持叙说上的共同性哦）

the intention of the cartoon is to show us that due attention should be attached to our attitudes towards our life. owing to the quickening pace of life, competition is becoming increasingly fierce in all walks of life. suppose we are inclined to be pessimistic all the time, we will lose hope to live the rest of our life, unable to strive forthea(这儿不需要标明特指，用a即可)bright future.

generally speaking,to bebeing（这儿运用being会更适合，并不需要表意图；假定语句后边是is our goal，那么就用to be optimistic is our goal）optimistic is essential to us in several ways, including trying to think of everything in the other way,rememberremembering(这儿大约是和trying并排，也大约运用doing)to smileeveryday（留心every day和everyday的差异，everday恰当所以描述词，如每日的活动everyday activities，而every day才是每天的意思哦）and so on. it is my view that, first and foremost, we can use the drawing toaid juveniles in learning to be optimistic to the things you losethey lost（这个语句可以会让阅卷教师读起来有点隐晦，这儿想表达的啥意思大约是协助青少年关于他们失掉的东西变得旷达，那么这儿不大约用you lose，而是they have already lost，否则会直接致使不太理解这句话的意思。一起，对...旷达介词用be optimistic about更适合）. furthermore, whatever difficulties or situations we are confronted with, we can remind ourselves that those who have the spirit of optimism are nearer to success.

only by taking an optimistic attitude towards life can we show great grace under pressure and turn our dreams into reality.

内容逻辑(3分): 5

言语表达(3分):6

语法基础(3分): 4

总分:15分

评语

（1）内容逻辑上疑问不大，假定想要持续前进，则需要留心文章推理证明联接上的流通度

（2）言语表达上不错，亮点语句比照多：owing to the quickening pace of life, competition is becoming increasingly fierce in all walks of life/are inclined to be pessimistic/only by taking an optimistic attitude towards life can we show great grace under pressure and turn our dreams into reality，单个当地可以留心下简化表达

（3）语法基础上有一些首要的疑问值得留心：

-to be和being做主语的选用

-单个的词汇拼写的笔误

-代词的选用(they/you)

-时态共同疑问

全体来说能看出同学在这篇作文里体现出了必定的言语堆集，很不错，留心说到的一些小疑问，信赖下次的高文文会非常好~

the chart above shows the result of a survey on job satisfaction among staff of different age groups in a certain company.40% of the employees over 40 who are satisfied with their jobs is highest ,on the contrary, 64% of the staff between 41 to 50 are dissatisfied with their work,the highest dissatisfied among the three age groups.前面的表述没有疑问，可是对表格内容的归纳有遗失的有些噢，这儿只呈现了40岁以下以及41-50岁两个年纪段的归纳。下文也说到了50岁以上的人群，这儿就不能漏掉了哈。这是一个失分点。

why is satisfaction showingdifferent这儿需要的词性大约是副词，可以改为differentlyin above table假定不看above是不是能发现这儿存在定冠词缺失的疑问，这儿是in the above table? there'sseveralfactors留心主谓共同，factors 前面用there arethat may contribute to this phenomenon. firstly,a sea of workers over 50 tend to translate their goal in career from finally success to experience life, so they are more likely to feel content with their jobs.while most of the staff who age between 41 to 50 feel dissatisfied with their jobs because of thedayily拼写疑问dailypressure from their career and families.at this time,a majority oftheyof是介词,后边要把they变为宾格方法them构成介宾规划almost know they scarcely havea元音音素前用anopportunity to get promoted ,whichconflict这儿的要用第三人称奇数方法conflicts，这儿的which指代的是前面所说的?呛苌俚玫教嵘幕怠眞ith their goal of ultimate success such as get a high socialstatue留心区别statue（雕塑，雕像）和status（方位）的词义,power,and reputation.thus they usually feel dissatisfied with their work.

in summary,we can conclude that satisfaction may derive from a positive attitude. therefore, it's significant that we should take a correct attitude in career planning.

内容逻辑(3分): 3

言语表达(3分): 4

语法基础(3分): 3

总分:10分

评语

从内容上看，你的分析视点和别人不一样，在我看来是新鲜的视点。文章全体上也是清楚流通的，不错！还需要留心的是：

1、篇幅上略微有一点点长，不过无伤大雅，之后留心点就行。一般规则150词以上，究竟上交的文章在150-180词支配比照适合。篇幅长了更简略呈现一些语法或许拼写上的差错。教师在阅卷进程中速度很快，均匀分给每份卷子的时刻是很短的。

2、一些语法和拼写疑问要留心啦，批注中都现已标示出来了。

3、文中有不少短语都用的不错！可以试着堆集一些不是那么常见的联接词或许不一样句式的表达。比方总结有些as a consequence；given the discussion above；on balance... 第一句对表格的介绍也可以用“what is explicitly presented in the table above is the result of a survey on ...”或许“the figures in the above table indicate the ...”

（雕塑，雕像）和status（方位）的词义,power,and reputation.thus they usually feel dissatisfied with their work.

in summary,we can conclude that satisfaction may derive from a positive attitude. therefore, it's （改为it is, 作文中尽量不放缩写）significant that we should take a correct attitude in career planning.

内容逻辑(3分): 3

言语表达(3分):4

语法基础(3分):3

总分:10分

评语

从内容上看，你的分析视点和别人不一样，在我看来是新鲜的视点。文章全体上也是清楚流通的，不错！还需要留心的是：

2、一些语法和拼写疑问要留心啦，批注中都现已标示出来了。